Pastor's Article Feb 4

Marriage is a very important part of life. If a person has a good marriage, he or she can have a good life. If a person has a bad marriage, he or she can have a bad life. If you are going be married, you need to do all that you can to make it a good marriage. To have a good marriage, you must work hard and do your part according to God’s plan. For the man, this means being the leader in the home that God called you to be. I heard a story of a man who tried to do this, but lacked the understanding of how to accomplish this important role of leadership. It goes like this: A husband is advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don’t have to let your wife henpeck you. Go home and show her you’re the boss." The husband takes the doctor’s advice and rushes home, slams the door, shakes his fist in his wife’s face, and growls, "From now on, you’re taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs and lay out my best clothes. Tonight, I’m going out with the boys, and you are going to stay at home where you belong. And another thing, guess who’s going to comb my hair, give me a shave, and tie my necktie?" His wife says calmly, "The undertaker."
Leadership is not about barking orders and demanding submission; is about being a servant and lovingly leading your wife. Obviously, I am not an expert on another man’s wife, but I do know that God wants me to lead by loving, sacrificing, and working to make my wife clean and correct through the Word of God. This requires me to lead in a deep relationship with Christ and to take my wife on this journey of knowing Christ intimately. I cannot imagine a woman not loving and following a man who is committed to loving her, if she is first loved as Christ loved the Church. You cannot force your wife into loving you, but you can entice her to, as she understands that you are committed to loving her more than you love yourself. Christ gave Himself for the Church and so ought men to love their wives sacrificially. Men, if you want your wife to follow you, lead with love.